It's amazing how life changes when you have children-in fact it's amazing how you're perspective changes on a whole array of things. Those of you who are parents will instantaneously know exactly what I'm talking about, but please allow to me to expound on this for a few moments:)
Since Liv arrived 8 months ago, I've become more aware of my selfishness and the true heroism that exists in my wife. I've lived my life trying to please God, but also I've done a lot of things that I, myself, enjoy doing-which isn't completely horrible, but now that Liv is here, I find myself really not caring about some of those fringe things I loved to do because I honestly want to spend my time with her and with Claire. But I am also realizing the tension that exists between what I feel God calling me to do and what I want to do. I guess where this leaves me is at the threshold of contentment.
God has blessed me beyond measure with salvation through Jesus, with a great wife, an adorable child, great family and friends, a wonderful church to pastor and even the opportunity to coach some great high school kids in tennis, and yet I find myself wishing for more. It's been a dream since I was in college to tour the world and lead others in worship, and I get a small opportunity next week to go do that, but at the risk of sounding cheesy and self effacing, I know the musicians who are out there in Christian music-they are more talented and truthfully they know the right people. I'm average t best, but I think that means I rely on God more because I know I'm incapable. I know no one that's considered important in the music industry and that's honestly how a lot of people get recognized and famous-SO HERE'S WHERE I AM GOING WITH ALL OF THIS:
I think I'm finally content with that:) I'm content with being the worship pastor at what I feel is the best church in the United States(I've been to a lot and Grace Community Church is special). I'm content with not knowing music industry powerhouses as long as I know my friends who are near and dear to me and are radiant. I'm content with playing at other churches from time to time but knowing that fame will not come and that's a GREAT thing because it means GOD gets the glory and that my fame is not the point of the Christian call in my life. I'm content with barely making ends meet at the end of the month as long as I get to share that lifestyle with Claire and Liv-that makes me the richest man I know. I'm content in knowing that God's plan works infinitely better than my own and that I may not possess constant happiness, I do possess neverending joy!
So may you find contentment in the blessings that God has called you to, and look in the face of your child and see the selfless love of Christ and the picture of joy:)