What a Year....

I apologize for my absence in the blogosphere the past month or so, I've been absolutely swamped with interesting anniversaries and holidays:) First of all, Easter, which as you can imagine, is a very VERY busy time of year for a worship pastor at a church, and I'm happy to report that we had a great weekend of worshipping God and celebrating the hope we have through Him, but let me also add on to that. It was also a bit sad. It really hit me this year that I am growing older and that with each passing Easter, I feel like I'm climbing more and more uphill to achieve something that's not really mine to achieve. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm noticing how selfsish I can be, and I don't like seeing that ugly side of me:(

The toughest part of this past month or so was celebrating my brother's first birthday since he passed, and then three days later marking the one year anniversary of his death. It was a LOT harder than I anticipated it being. I found myself just being overwhelmed with memories of how good of a man he was. Shane was a rarity in my life. He was one of the few men in this world who loved me for me and never tried to change me or get his own personal agenda accomplished by what I could do for him. Shane simply loved me, and I must admit, I really, REALLY miss him.

In the wake of all of this I feel like I'm letting him down because I don't know how to be a fatherly influence on his girls. I'm learning as we go along. I know that I am not expected to be Shane, because thats a mark I fall way short of every day, but I also know I want his girls to know how loved and special they are, and that regardless of their circumstances, they are loved unconditionally.

In my heart, I feel a special connection to God right now because I know that He views me the exact same way. He sees the potential in me but also realizes the reality of who I am, and that He loves me unconditionally. It's a catch 22. I feel like I'm letting God and Shane down by not doing a better job for Amanda and the girls, and I also feel like I'm sure as heck trying you know?

I just keep having to remind myself that God is not disappointed in me. I read throughout scripture that I am loved beyond reason or comprehension, and I'm starting to grasp that a little bit now because of my nieces. Words do not convey the depths of my love for them.

I just want to challenge you to tell someone you love them today. Tell them why you love them, and also tell them that no matter what: you will always love them. That's the life of Christ lived out in this broken world.

Blessings,

travis

The Good of Not Knowing...

"The Good of not knowing..."-Dallas Willard

Seems like a weird quote and almost one of misinformation doesn't it? I want to challenge you that this philosophy can change your life in the most amazing way!!!

What it doesn't mean: It doesn't mean we shouldn't fervently seek after our beliefs and try to grow daily towards knowing all we can about who or what we believe in:) We need to always be chasing after why we believe what we believe so we can live and respond accordingly.

But sometimes things don't make sense do they? Whether you believe in God or not, there are things that just don't make sense. I previously posted that to make it through this world you have to believe in paradox. It's simply a necessity in this world whether it be Christianity, physics or basic biology, paradox exists!!!

So how do we reconcile our thoughts to things that happen that seem odd or even oppositional to reason, rationale or normalcy? This is obviously my opinion, but I think it's the very nature of God. I think we want to know everything and when we can't figure out the why or how we get frustrated and tend to get angry or overly confused.

May I suggest another approach? Let it go.... Being in control isn't all that it's cracked up to be:) Sometimes things happen because they happen and we can never fully know why or how, but we can find rest in knowing its beyond our control. It's a GOOD thing that we don't know EVERYTHING there is to know about God, because if we did, HE WOULDN'T BE GOD!!!

I will never be able to wrap my head around so many things that are a part of this world, so how could I possibly begin to remotely understand God? That sounds intimidating, but I truly can see glimpses of Him and those glimpses cange who I am and how I view life. When we actively seek after our beliefs we catch a glimpse that validates and moves us to a new place in our journey.

I don't claim to be a scholar, heck, I don't even claim to be bright-haha, but I do know that sometimes here is beauty in not knowing, and I'd like to challenge you to recognize that as well. It's life changing!

The Theology of Coldplay...

"When you're too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth."-Coldplay-

I think, ultimately, we all struggle with what love should look like and it brings our insecurities to the forefront of our day to day lives. So instead of learning how to love, we shy away from it and let self-preservation and fear control how we live our lives.

Love can't be defined, because it's truly different for everybody, but that's no reason to be afraid of it. We've all been hurt by love in a myriad of different ways. Whether it be unrequited love, where you put your heart out there and the feeling isn't returned, or its the loss of someone you've loved your entire life as a family member, friend or lover:) Love can be painful, but isn't that proof that you have truly loved?

I remember being heartbroken over a relationship years ago and my first thought was to give up on chasing after an idea that would ultimately lead to hurt, but had I not I would have missed out on some of the greatest loves of my life. My wife, my friends that I dearly and deeply love, my nieces, my sister in law, music, the church, and most importantly the God that puts Himself out there millions of times a day only to be shunned. He may be perfect, but He also can relate to us intimately because he knows what it means to be unloved.

At some point we get into a life changing relationship(Most of us), and what do we do when we get there? We bring in the old garbage that jaded us in the first place and we make life miserable for the ones we love. I learned a long time ago, that I can't fix who someone is, but I can choose to love them, and if I truly love them for who they are, then why am I trying to mold them into something that pleases me. I love the church-PASSIONATELY, but it's not my job to fix all the pathologies that come with a corrupt, fallible institution, but what I can do is love people, and I have a reference point.

I look at how Jesus lived his life, and I can see a glimpse of who God is and what He's calling to do when it comes to love. In Jesus' generosity and compassion, that's what God's like. In His mercy and wisdom, that's what God's like. In His genuine love for people-that's what God's like, and that's who I want to be like. I know I can't be, but I can sure try. God didn't try to fix people, and I know that sounds wrong, but God loved them and healed them, and that love was life altering and it affected them in a very real, profound way.

Let's stop trying to fix people and start out by just loving them right where they are at. Let's go back to the beginnings of the movement that birthed the church. We've made things so complicated by overthinking the simple act of loving people. Let's start over friends, and create something beautiful:) I want to close with another Coldplay quote from the "Scientist"


"Nobody said it was easy
Its such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Let's take it back to the start" -Coldplay-

Where the fallen finally land...

Can I just admit to you that I'm quite a broken person. I miss the mark on a daily basis; I screw up constantly, just ask my wife-haha. But it's more than that. We all do! I sense that this world is crying out for authenticity everywhere it looks. We don't need to see someone who seems to have it all together, because A) We know you don't and that makes you fake: B) We can't relate to that at all.

Having worked in several churches throughout the past 9 years, I have seen the damage that can be done when a person or organization won't admit that it's flawed. The pathologies that are caused by that view of doing life or church is crushing. It can leave people shrouded in guilt, or worse, jaded by humanity.

What's worse is that when we become separatists in this thought pattern. Don't laugh, I'm dead serious I've seen this as a prevalent culture in the church for the most part. We start thinking that we, as church goers, have all the answers and that "They," nonbelievers are fallen and "we" need to save them. Nothing could be more judgmental or further from the truth!

The "they" and "we" mentality creates a divide that makes it impossible for Christ followers to relate to a broken world, because we refuse to admit that we are broken as well. We are ALL broken!!! How could we be so condemning as to look down on someone because we view them as fallen. That's spiritual bigotry and elitism! That's not who Jesus was, and that's not who we are called to be.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't live out your faith system, and if you feel compelled to share that, please do:) But how retarded is it to believe that we have anything to do with bringing people to Christ. In the Christian faith, The Holy Spirit reveals Himself to His people and it is God who saves people not us. If we disagree with that we are saying that God relies on us to carry out His will, and if you believe that, you are living a "Functional atheistic" philosophy, because you are totally disregarding a part of God that is relevant if you are a Christ follower. You are using God to promote your personal beliefs in that situation, and somehow you play a role in the Savior aspect of who He is.

I guess I just want people who follow Jesus to live like Jesus, and I want to be the first person to say that I'm a broken, fallen screw up. I'm the last person who is qualified to tell someone how to live:) If you are a follower of Christ and you feel like you have to wear this persona that makes you look giddy and perfect all the time, when in all actuality you are confused, hurting and hiding, please STOP covering up, because when we realize we are all fallen, we can start loving each other in a genuine way regardless of beliefs.

When we stop pretending to float on cloud nine and crash land into the reality of who we are, we can finally be free to chase after God. We're all in this together regardless of what you think, and this is the place where the fallen finally land, and our worlds start over again, only this time we walk side by side with each other seeking out who we were created to be, and we love and respect the walking partners we have. My advice: Just crash land for your own sake:)

Memorials not Burials...

I have to tell you that I struggle with the modern view of memorials. We are quick to build memorials after tragedies, and the reasoning has always been a bit fuzzy to me. I think building a memorial is a wonderful thing if it's done for the right reason, but too many memorials have been built so that the memorial can do all the remembering and we can move on as a society. That's flawed in my opinion!!!

We read in the Old Testament that the Israelites built memorials out of stones to signify and to "Never forget" what God had done for them. It was supposed to be something that remained relevant to the people and that would remind them of who they were. This isn't just found in Christian theology. It is a prevalent philosophy in Islam, Buddhism and Humanism. It's remembering the past so it can somehow teach us and grow us as we head into the future.

I think there are so many more memorial stones in our lives if we are open to seeking them out. Here are some personal examples: I remember reading the Canterbury Tales, not because of the story, but because it reminds me of how awkward I was as a teenager. I remember playing soccer when I was 10 and having my dad coach me, and it shows me how selfish I was because I really did take that for granted at the time. I remember long conversations with good friends my senior year of high school and it brings me back to the point where I started realizing that there are other opinions in this vast world, and we all have a lot in common. I remember my wedding day and it reminds me of how beautiful this world can be, and that we took a huge risk by diving into this life together, but we did it together!!! I remember talking to my brother on the phone the day before he died, and having to cut it short because I had something that had to be done-that reminds me that the here and now are just as important if not more important than the where I'm going:)

Why is it so bad to remember? I don't get that at all. We NEED to remember who we are, and we have to claim our history whether we like it or not. Because that history shows us where we've been and where we are going, and if we look hard enough we can see the growth in our own life and be encouraged that we are viably progressing and evolving into something better:)

Growing up in the Oklahoma City area, I have been to the OKC bombing memorial a few times and it has profoundly touched me each time. Every time I've walked those hallowed grounds I am affected and overwhelmed. It takes me back to my freshman year and worrying about my dad because he had meetings at that building all the time. I remember feeling helpless, and I also remember hearing that dad was ok and the relief that followed.

The point is that memorials are not meant to do the remembering for us, they are physical examples of the remembering that needs to take place in us. They show us what is possible, both inhumane and beautiful. We can also see that its a fine line between evil and good, and that we are capable of being monsters as well as heroes.

We don't bury what happened, we honor it by emerging from the chaos and changing the world for good. We make life count based on what we believe to be true, but we can't run from our past. We embrace it humbly and we look at our personal memorial stones, and we remember who we were and the calling in our life.

May you realize that you are not defined by who you've been, but that you are emerging and growing into who you are called to be. Memorials are not burials-they are growing pains:)

Chasing...

"I will never stop chasing
I will never stop running after You."-Jared Anderson

I love the action that is implied in this simple statement! More importantly, I love the picture that we are called to in these words. We are to never stop chasing! We are to always do EVERYTHING we can to know more about who we believe and why we believe it. It doesn't say I will chase after You and then when I find you I'll stop. It's a constant, lifelong journey of trying to figure out who God is and how that relates to how we live.

One piece of advice: Don't believe your own hype. I speak from experience friends. We can get the idea that we have things figured out because of minor accomplishments in our life and it can cause us to stagnate and fester and it robs us of a growing relatiosnsip with our beliefs. When you think you've got it figured out, you most assuredly do not!

The point of chasing isn't to catch something. It's the fight, the struggle, the worn down pursuit of reaching out for something that will ultimately stretch you and help you grow. This isn't a game of tag because the required goal isn't to catch your beliefs, its to realize that in order to mature and grow we must ALWAYS chase after the truth.

I like the picture of running as well because it means you are passionately seeking. Have you ever known someone that seems to walk after their beliefs. They aren't really interested in chasing they just want to go through the motions for the sake of looking like they are trying. That's sadly an accuarate picture of many Christ followers.

Stop walking friends, RUN-CHASE- GROW!!!

Empowering and Unleashing...

I reference the church I grew up in A LOT! I do that because it was my first real experience in the American Evangelical Church movement. I attended a Southern Baptist Church in Moore, OK for 18 years(Birth to graduation of high school). Obviously I don't remember the first few years of that experience at all, but I can recollect a vast amount of experiences from my formative years that involved that congregation.

I do remember that there were some great things about that body of believers. My parents had some wonderful people who were their friends that they met at church and we loved being around them and still do to this day when we return to Moore for a visit. I also remember getting to play sports for the church and having my dad coach me(I loved it and wouldn't trade those days for anything). I remember certain Sunday School teachers that impacted me in a very loving way.

But just like every church, it has its flaws as well. No church is perfect because it is set up by human beings, and we are fallible. All of us are going to screw up a lot!!!

Probably the biggest problem I had with my parents church was the fact that we were told what to believe. There was no wiggle room at all, and if you disagreed or even questioned the teachings from the pastor(Who was still just a fallible person), you were either looked down upon or viewed as spiritually ignorant. I'm not saying every Southern Baptist or Evangelical church is like this, but what I am saying is that there is a trend in church that scares me. People are constantly being told what to believe!

THE CHURCH'S JOB IS NOT TO TELL YOU WHAT TO BELIEVE, IT'S THEIR JOB TO EMPOWER YOU TO GO SEEK OUT WHAT YOU BELIEVE AND HELP YOU ON YOUR SEARCH TO REALIZE WHY YOU BELIEVE IT!

The church, for the most part, has failed in this area. It has a reputation for telling people exactly what to believe and what the Christian Life looks like as opposed to providing opportunities for people to dive in, struggle and wrestle with who they are called to be and what that would look like. When you own your own faith, you grow constantly and appreciate it more because you personally had to realize why you believe what you believe. It's not your parents faith or your church's faith, it's YOUR faith!

I feel blessed to be on staff at the church I'm at. The Head Pastor is a humble and wonderful teacher, and he says quite frequently that he can't give people what they need. He can be used by God to give them a taste, and allow them to taste the goodness and find out who made the recipe.

Own your own faith friends-It's what makes life REAL and transparently relatable to your existence!!!